No rest for the anxious mind

 The surgery is coming up fast.

And so far I've done a fairly good job of putting my worries somewhere in the back of my mind, sleeping well, not obsessing over what's to come.

At least until Thursday.

When the ringing phone indicated the call was from Virtua Health, of course I took it. What could they want? I've had all the tests and everything's just on hold until the 29th.

Wrong.

The sweet person on the other end of the call, Gwen, she said her name was, called to get the pre-admission questionnaire completed. It would only take about ten or fifteen minutes, she said. 

So we went through all my past medical history, the meds I take and when I take them and then she got down to the nitty-gritty.

I'm to arrive at 8:30 a.m., go to the surgery admissions desk and say goodbye to my husband, then expect to spend two hours being prepped. Dr. Deger has reserved the surgical suite for 3 1/2 hours, she said, although he might not need that much time. An hour and a half in the recovery room, then to wherever I light for the night, at which time my hubby and kids can come up and say hi. I'll be groggy, she said, and not very good company, so they probably won't stay long...just enough to reassure themselves I'm really okay. I will then sleep, or at least as well as one can sleep in a hospital setting.

You see, the problem is, I feel fine. I have no symptoms of this thing that's lurking on my ovary where it doesn't belong. I'm not overly tired; I have no pain. So the notion of a surgeon slicing holes in my abdomen or worse, making an incision there, doesn't jibe with how I feel. I'm actually going to inflict pain on myself just to get better when I don't feel ill at all. Huh?

Anyway, it's really going to happen. I'm certain I don't have cancer, but there will still be a recovery period and lost time so close to Christmas. I'll decorate the house the weekend after Thanksgiving, but no tree this year. Little Selma poses too great a threat to hanging ornaments and we have no idea how she will react to the blinking lights, so we'll pass this year and wait until next. But the wreaths and household decorations will go up early so I can enjoy them when I get home.

It was going well and I wasn't thinking about the 29th more than a couple times a day. Now it's there way too much. Sigh.